Blessed to be Broken

God's not finished with me yet!

Right On Time

How is it dreams can be so realistic they make your heart hurt? That’s the kind of dream I had last night. Someone from my past had deeply hurt me…again. Sigh.

On top of the person from the past, dream hurting me, let’s just add a new person into the dream mix too. This new person made a promise and broke it in a hurtful way.

I tearfully confronted her. She got indignant. I plead with her to help me understand why she broke her promise. Instead she cried tears of anger and said something to the effect that when she cries, the talking needs to cease. She started walking away. She was done trying to justify her actions.

I stood there in disbelief for a few moments before I started walking towards her. I asked her to wait. She turned towards me but then crumpled down, weeping. Hugging her knees she repeated that when she starts to cry, the talking needs to cease.

All I could muster up as I looked at her were the words, I love you. I woke up feeling gut punched and sad.

I laid in bed for a few more minutes processing the dream. Have you ever tried to make sense out of your dreams? I don’t usually get too far figuring them out. But I did resonate with a part of the dream.

The woman broke a promise.
She knew she did wrong.
She got indignant about it when confronted.
She wanted to ignore the pain she caused.
She crumpled up.
She cried.

That woman sounds an awful lot like me. And the one who kept chasing after the woman who did the hurting and showing compassion despite being hurt, sounds an awful lot like Jesus.

Lord, help me.

It doesn’t seem right that you’d tell someone who hurt you, “I love you”. It doesn’t fit in the world’s standard of karma’s coming for you. You’ll get what you deserve. It’s today’s version of an eye for an eye.

But Jesus. He got hurt. He had emotions. He was fully God, yet fully man. He felt pain, sorrow, joy, anger, and love. He was betrayed. Falsely accused. Ridiculed. Whipped. Spit on. Given a death sentence. There’s not a single thing we’ve experienced that Jesus didn’t go through. The circumstances may not be the same, but the results are.

Jesus being a man and being among us is a way for us to relate to Him being human. To understand just how much God wanted a relationship with us.

When we do wrong against Him, it’s easy to be indignant in our sin. It’s easy to carry on like we did nothing wrong. Especially when society screams for us to do things this or that way.

It’s easy to turn and walk away from Jesus. I know. I did it for years. But, not once, did Jesus leave me. He was always there. I can look back and see the people He placed in my path. His people. His children.

And when I was done, walking away from Him. He called my name. I crumpled down in a heap of tears and pain so deep in my soul that I couldn’t even speak. I didn’t need to. He spoke.

Let me show you one of the many love verses Jesus has spoken into my heart:

And when I passed by again, I saw that you were old enough for love. So I wrapped my cloak around you to cover your nakedness and declared my marriage vows. I made a covenant with you, says the Sovereign Lord, and you became mine.” ~ Ezekiel 16:8 (NLT)

Did you catch that first sentence? Don’t miss that He passed by “again”. He waited. And when He saw I was finally ready to accept Him, He made a covenant with me and called me His.

I always thought I came late to the Christian party. But, it was always going to be His time. The time in between, we were writing my testimony for His glory.

Maybe you think it’s too late to give yourself over to a Savior who loves you. Maybe you think you’re too “far gone,” or maybe you think, not even Jesus could love you after what you’ve done. Let me assure you, none of those things are true.

He’ll keep pursuing. Why? Because He wants all His children in Heaven with Him. He doesn’t want a single one to perish in the pits of Hell.

I’m ever so thankful Jesus never left me. Yes, there were things in my life that were permitted. Yes, they caused me great pain, but every day, He works in me to bring about His redemptive story. And He will continue until the work is done.

He’s true to His Word. He will never leave us or forsake us. Jesus loves you, this I know. Not only because the Bible tells me so, but because I’m living proof. Pssst….so are you.

Be blessed! God’s doing new things! Do you see it? I hope so.


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By Our Love

Palm Sunday was a big deal growing up especially at the Catholic church. Each person that attended church on that Sunday got a palm branch to take home. A reminder of how Jesus was exalted that day. Some churches still give out palm branches on this day. Maybe you’re familiar with the story from the Bible about the laying of branches down as Jesus rode in on a donkey or maybe you’re not. Let’s look at the story from the Bible together from the book of Mark.

“Jesus Comes to Jerusalem as King

11 As they approached Jerusalem and came to Bethphage and Bethany at the Mount of Olives, Jesus sent two of his disciples, saying to them, “Go to the village ahead of you, and just as you enter it, you will find a colt tied there, which no one has ever ridden. Untie it and bring it here. If anyone asks you, ‘Why are you doing this?’ say, ‘The Lord needs it and will send it back here shortly.’”

They went and found a colt outside in the street, tied at a doorway. As they untied it, some people standing there asked, “What are you doing, untying that colt?” They answered as Jesus had told them to, and the people let them go. When they brought the colt to Jesus and threw their cloaks over it, he sat on it. Many people spread their cloaks on the road, while others spread branches they had cut in the fields. Those who went ahead and those who followed shouted,

“Hosanna![a]

“Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!”[b]

10 “Blessed is the coming kingdom of our father David!”

“Hosanna in the highest heaven!”

11 Jesus entered Jerusalem and went into the temple courts. He looked around at everything, but since it was already late, he went out to Bethany with the Twelve.” ~ Mark 11:1-11 (NIV)

A King who rode on a donkey atop a cloak. Not a royal horse. Not a royal robe. Yet, He was given what seemed to be a royal “parade.” He was cheered and hailed. But, it didn’t last.

How often do we give our hearts to Jesus, yet turn tail when it get too hard? Or it doesn’t look like what we thought it would be to follow a Savior who willingly gave all?

I know in my walk with Jesus, I’ve had questions. I’ve been skeptical. I’ve allowed doubt to rule over trust. But does that stop Jesus from loving me? No. I know I can go to Him with every single thing that’s on my heart.

I also know what it’s like to walk through life without personally knowing Jesus and there’s no way I want to go back there.

Jesus never made Himself out to be better than anyone. Yet, He most assuredly was. He didn’t flaunt who He was in anyone’s face. Although, He could have. He simply did as His Father asked.

The love He has for me, is like none I’ve ever known. Most times, I can’t comprehend it. It doesn’t make sense. There’s not even anything I can compare it to because I’ve not witnessed that kind of selfless love nor do I think I’ve ever been able to offer that type of love.

In a world that’s all about tit for tat, and what’s in it for me, how do we, as followers of Christ, make a difference?

It’s simple. Yet, ever so complicated. Sing it with me, because I bet you already know the words:

“And they’ll know we are Christians by our love, by our love. Yes, they’ll know we are Christians by our love”.

And where does that come from? Good question:

“”A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”” ~ John 13:34-35 (NIV)

Love. It’s a four-letter word that holds more meaning than I can even begin to imagine.

Love suffered, died on a cross, and was buried.

We think love is a mushy, poopsie, whoopsie, feeling, when in fact the very definition of love is Jesus. There was nothing mushy or poopsie, whoopsie in the way He displayed His love for us. It was filled with excruciating pain beyond this gal’s comprehension.

Love in action will most assuredly look more like sacrifice, than googly eyes cast in our direction. Just as easily as someone can look at you with googly eyes, they can shoot mental ” fiery darts” at you with those same eyes.

I’m sure we’ve all given and been the recipient of the “look”.

As we head into Easter week, I pray you know that Jesus knew what was coming for Him. He knew He would be betrayed, yet He washed the feet of His betrayer. How crazy is that? He knew His disciples would desert Him. He knew and He didn’t run from it. He stayed the course. Blows my mind.

Once we begin to comprehend what and who love is, then, and only then, will the world know we are Christians, by our love, by our love.

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