How is it dreams can be so realistic they make your heart hurt? That’s the kind of dream I had last night. Someone from my past had deeply hurt me…again. Sigh.
On top of the person from the past, dream hurting me, let’s just add a new person into the dream mix too. This new person made a promise and broke it in a hurtful way.
I tearfully confronted her. She got indignant. I plead with her to help me understand why she broke her promise. Instead she cried tears of anger and said something to the effect that when she cries, the talking needs to cease. She started walking away. She was done trying to justify her actions.
I stood there in disbelief for a few moments before I started walking towards her. I asked her to wait. She turned towards me but then crumpled down, weeping. Hugging her knees she repeated that when she starts to cry, the talking needs to cease.
All I could muster up as I looked at her were the words, I love you. I woke up feeling gut punched and sad.
I laid in bed for a few more minutes processing the dream. Have you ever tried to make sense out of your dreams? I don’t usually get too far figuring them out. But I did resonate with a part of the dream.
The woman broke a promise.
She knew she did wrong.
She got indignant about it when confronted.
She wanted to ignore the pain she caused.
She crumpled up.
She cried.
That woman sounds an awful lot like me. And the one who kept chasing after the woman who did the hurting and showing compassion despite being hurt, sounds an awful lot like Jesus.
Lord, help me.
It doesn’t seem right that you’d tell someone who hurt you, “I love you”. It doesn’t fit in the world’s standard of karma’s coming for you. You’ll get what you deserve. It’s today’s version of an eye for an eye.
But Jesus. He got hurt. He had emotions. He was fully God, yet fully man. He felt pain, sorrow, joy, anger, and love. He was betrayed. Falsely accused. Ridiculed. Whipped. Spit on. Given a death sentence. There’s not a single thing we’ve experienced that Jesus didn’t go through. The circumstances may not be the same, but the results are.
Jesus being a man and being among us is a way for us to relate to Him being human. To understand just how much God wanted a relationship with us.
When we do wrong against Him, it’s easy to be indignant in our sin. It’s easy to carry on like we did nothing wrong. Especially when society screams for us to do things this or that way.
It’s easy to turn and walk away from Jesus. I know. I did it for years. But, not once, did Jesus leave me. He was always there. I can look back and see the people He placed in my path. His people. His children.
And when I was done, walking away from Him. He called my name. I crumpled down in a heap of tears and pain so deep in my soul that I couldn’t even speak. I didn’t need to. He spoke.
Let me show you one of the many love verses Jesus has spoken into my heart:
“And when I passed by again, I saw that you were old enough for love. So I wrapped my cloak around you to cover your nakedness and declared my marriage vows. I made a covenant with you, says the Sovereign Lord, and you became mine.” ~ Ezekiel 16:8 (NLT)
Did you catch that first sentence? Don’t miss that He passed by “again”. He waited. And when He saw I was finally ready to accept Him, He made a covenant with me and called me His.
I always thought I came late to the Christian party. But, it was always going to be His time. The time in between, we were writing my testimony for His glory.
Maybe you think it’s too late to give yourself over to a Savior who loves you. Maybe you think you’re too “far gone,” or maybe you think, not even Jesus could love you after what you’ve done. Let me assure you, none of those things are true.
He’ll keep pursuing. Why? Because He wants all His children in Heaven with Him. He doesn’t want a single one to perish in the pits of Hell.
I’m ever so thankful Jesus never left me. Yes, there were things in my life that were permitted. Yes, they caused me great pain, but every day, He works in me to bring about His redemptive story. And He will continue until the work is done.
He’s true to His Word. He will never leave us or forsake us. Jesus loves you, this I know. Not only because the Bible tells me so, but because I’m living proof. Pssst….so are you.
Be blessed! God’s doing new things! Do you see it? I hope so.
Blessed to be Broken 
This is a beautiful blog. So heartfelt that I, too, I’m hurting from your dream. I LOVE how you can turn that into a Spiritual nugget for His glory! You be a Heavenly writer, sis! I get what you say about dreams. Never thought to look at them thru a lens of forgiveness and inquire of Jesus so I can share as you. Well done, His faithful one, well done. Hugs
On Tue, Apr 12, 2022, 5:41 AM Blessed to be Broken wrote:
> Trish Cordell posted: ” How is it dreams can be so realistic they make > your heart hurt? That’s the kind of dream I had last night. Someone from my > past had deeply hurt me…again. Sigh. On top of the person from the past, > dream hurting me, let’s just add a new person into the ” >