Blessed to be Broken

God's not finished with me yet!

What Happens Next

Did you ever have someone pick a fight with you but you didn’t even know a battle existed? Have you ever faced an enemy you had no real understanding as to why you were thought of as the enemy, just to find out it was because you were being you?

What happens next in that moment is crucial. You can turn to people pleasing mechanisms to try to gain their affection which will inevitably cause you to resent them.

You can ask others what their take on the situation is and see what suggestions they offer. Keep in mind, most friends will be biased to your presentation of the situation. Which is typically one sided.

You can get angry and retaliate causing an even bigger rift. Ya know, cause that always works out well.

You can reactionary text the person. Here you can easily hide behind the screen and say and approach things in ways you never would during an in-person conversation. Most likely “tone” will be inserted and a text argument will ensue. No one comes out feeling better after these. They are the epitome of immaturity and fruitlessness. And now you have written documentation so you can rehash the situation or put it in your weapon arsenal. Ya know, cuz that’s healthy.

You can sit and stew and think about all the things you want to do or say. You can twist your imaginary mustache planning and plotting all while snickering devilishly. Picture Snidely Whiplash from Dudley Do-Right.

Or, you can pray. You can ask God to show you what you need to do next. Praying might not change the situation but it will definitely help you process with the One who understands you best. He alone is able to handle ALL of you. Let’s face it, we all got stuff. But, He alone will love you unbiasedly through it. He alone has the ultimate answer.

Relationships take time. Trying to rush through them to be only what you desire is not a relationship. It’s a dictatorship. You’re better off with just being an acquaintance. This way you can fake it till you make it and never have to be vulnerable or authentic. Putting on a constant show to garner one’s attention or affection is draining and caustic. It’s like playing a game of roulette. Who will I be today? Sounds exhausting.

Thankfully, God is faithful. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. He’s my constant in the storms and the One I can safely find refuge in. Knowing that I’m fully accepted by Him, helps me be more authentic and vulnerable.

Let’s face it, pretending to be something we’re not only gets us so far. Eventually the facade falls away and we “lose” it. Typically blaming the other person for our own lack of authenticity and self-control.

It’s not easy being “real” in a “look at me” selfie world. But, if you can find it in you, to be more self-accepting, you may just be more accepting of others. Because in the end, isn’t that what we all want? To be accepted and loved for who we are, and not what we bring to the table?

Just my musings for today. I hope you find space in your day to appreciate you and know how very loved you are. You’ve been through a lot. Maybe it’s time you gave yourself the grace you’d give another. Speak kind words over yourself and watch how your mind and body respond. Because being your own best friend is so much better than being your own worst enemy.

Be brave my friends! It’s a new day, and sometimes the biggest obstacle we’ll face, is the one staring back at us in the mirror.

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God’s Out To Get Me

This is a season of new beginnings for me. Not gonna lie, some days it’s been rough. There’s been A LOT of tears shed and A LOT of wrestling with my Heavenly Father.

I’ve learned the best question in these time is not, “Why God”? For me, it’s “What are you up to God?” or “What are you trying to teach me?” or more to the heart of it, “What are you trying to heal”?

Two of my go to verses for times when I’m not sure what’s really happening around me are:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)


“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

Isaiah 55:8-9 (NIV)

These two verses take the pressure off myself to figure out all the things ruminating in my head and places my trust in God.

So, it more looks like, “God, I don’t know what you’re up to, but I trust you to lead me through.”

That’s on my good days. But what happens on my not so good days? To let you know that, I’m going to give you an overall glimpse of my life.

  • Moved to a new home in a new area unfamiliar to me
  • Had a tree fall close to the house. Like, blocking my door close
  • Felt the call to change churches
  • Felt the call to change hair stylists
  • My beautiful and amazing Gabby gurl passed over the rainbow bridge – This still wrecks me
  • Got verbally attacked by someone I thought was a “friend”
  • Felt the call to quit my job
  • First time ever living alone

Like I said, this is just a glimpse into my life and this may not seem like much to you but this isn’t your journey. It’s mine. I’m not feeling all, “woe is me”, I’m feeling separated. Or as I’ve been reminded “set apart.”

On my not so good days, my thoughts take a different turn and can be summed up in one sentence, “God’s out to get me”!

From that one statement, I easily let the old lies start to play out in my head.

  • God’s mad at me
  • I’ve done something really wrong and He’s turned His back on me
  • I deserve all the bad things
  • I don’t blame you God for hating me, I pretty much hate myself
  • It’s no wonder you left me all alone

What are those? Lies, lies and more lies, They are old thought patterns that lead to self-pity, self-destruction, and a life based on performance instead of just being. Trying to prove we’re worthy of anything God does in our lives always leads to misconceptions of who He is.

Is it any wonder the first message at my new church was based on the book by Pastor Craig Groeschel, “Winning the War in your Mind”?

There was a card in the pocket of the seat in front of me. These are the questions that were on it:

  1. What lie are you believing?
  2. What Scripture will you use to tear it down?
  3. Where & When will you do battle?

Let me show you my answers:

  1. God’s out to get me.
  2. “We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,2 Corinthians 10:5 (ESV) and “…I have loved you with an everlasting love;…” – Jeremiah 31:3 and “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above,…” – James 1:17 (ESV)
  3. Everywhere “we” go. Write these scriptures on my heart, on sticky notes, anywhere I can see them to remind me of the goodness of God and how much He loves me. Spend time getting to know the heart of my Father every day by being in His Word.

Knowing God’s truth is fundamental to my well-being. It’s so easy to spiral down into the lies the enemy would love for us to believe. Living a “less than” life is Satan’s goal. That doesn’t even sound anything close to the life God wants us to live.

This is why it’s imperative to “take EVERY thought captive”. Not some thoughts, EVERY. The lies that we set in place and believe in our lives can become lofty opinions that come against God. Yikes! I don’t know about you, but I’ve believed far too many lies about myself and I’m over it.

2022 may not have started out like I planned, but the new season God is walking me through has only just begun. If you’re like me, the song by the Carpenters just started playing in your head. You’re welcome! In order to walk with Him, I need to place my trust in Him and lay my understanding down.

If you’re in a season of new beginnings, take heart friend, God’s up to something good. One last thing I did with the lie that God was out to get me, was to flip the script. He is out to get me, but in the best possible way. After all, He’s the good Shepherd and He left the 99 to come get me. He’s out to get you too! In the best possible way.

Have an amazing day!


#Peace~~Getcha some!!


“#Peace– Is it possible to make #peace with the realities of our bodies?  How?” 

This is one of the topics over at Proverbs 31 Blog Hop for our on-line Bible study Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst.  There were more, topics but this one reached out to me as soon as I read it. My first thought was a snide….yea, right, sure..let me get right on that #peace with my body train. Mmm hmmm.  Pure disdain in that first thought.  But then I switched gears and thought positively, yea, right, sure…let me get right on that #peace with my body train!! Cuz this is one mentally tired girl from the constant battle in my own head that my body is not good enough!!

When I think of the word battle, I think of a fight between opposing opponents.  My only opponent is my mind.  I’m literally beating myself up.  It’s like when my brother would take my arm in his hand and proceed to hit me in the face with my own hand, saying “stop hitting yourself.”  If you’ve ever had that happen, you know what I’m talking about and no doubt just got a little annoyed.


For as long as I can remember, I’ve been losing my own battle because of what?  Numbers on a scale that don’t reflect what I want?  Societal standards of skinny, curvy, fat, or obese…pretty, beautiful, gorgeous or that horrible word ugly?  And those are just general areas.  I could totally dig deeper and start picking on features…like cellulite for example.  Every single one of those things is superficial.  And seriously, who gets to make those standards and then label me anything less than who I am?  

Maybe it was my mom, who to this day, beats herself up and passed it down onto me. Maybe it was the boys who didn’t choose me or the girls who laughed and talked behind my back.  Unfortunately, that’s the type of stuff that can take up permanent residency in a place where it doesn’t belong and in reality, no one but me has the power to make myself feel less than who I am.   

Lysa wrote in her book “I don’t know a woman alive who is completely happy with her body.”  I thought about that and like her, I can honestly say, in my circle of friends not one of them has ever said…I love the way I look!!  That’s so sad..isn’t that just so very sad?  Sadder still, even when I was “skinny,” I called myself “fat.”  Now that I’m bigger, I wish I was as skinny as when I thought I was fat.  My brain is tired of this insanity!! 

The mean girl in me that mentally abuses myself has lived with me for far too long.  It’s time I looked her straight in the face and told her get out!!  You’re being evicted and there’s no other space for rent!!  There’s a new landlord in town and she’s at #peace with the body God so very graciously and lovingly gave to her. 

You see, God is all that and a bag of chips!!  He calls me by name, and says “My Grace is sufficient for you.  For my power is made perfect in weakness.  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9-NIV)   So any weakness I have, I’m covered by His power.  That power by the way, raises the dead to life.  Just sayin’  So now I can answer that question of how I can be at #peace with the realities of my body. 

In my own strength, I will never have peace, but given His strength, His wisdom, His love, and His truth, I have all the #peace I want.  I know that if #peace is gone, then I moved.  And I know if I moved, He is still there…always and forever….there!!  Go getcha some #peace and while you’re at it, grab onto the Love and share Him with everyone you can….including yourself!! 



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