The other day I overheard a few bars of a familiar song. I remember really liking this song back in the day, and now I wanted to hear it. I googled the lyrics “I’m not a perfect…” and before I could finish typing, google filled in the rest for me. I clicked the link to the “official video” and then I got distracted. It would be a couple more days before I actually listened to the song.
I’m extremely interested in song lyrics and the history behind the songs. Which is funny, because I can’t say I ever really cared for History classes and such. I’m learning to appreciate history more as I age. Math? Not so much. Ha! I digress.
The song’s real name is “The Reason” and it’s sung by a band called, Hoobastank. No, that’s not a typo. I’ll let you google the song if you want to know its’ history, I more want to chat about the lyrics. Are you ready?
“I’m not a perfect person
There’s many things I wish I didn’t do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know”
I don’t know about you, but those words really resonate with me. Probably not in the way you might think.
Let’s look at the next stanza:
“I’ve found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you”
Change. Change is hard. But according to these lyrics the reason for changing is “you”. Ok, one more stanza:
“I’m sorry that I hurt you
It’s something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That’s why I need you to hear”
Those are some pretty powerful lyrics wouldn’t you agree? If you’re an emotional person like me, you might listen to the song and get all teary eyed because someone came to your mind. I’m going to share with you who first came into my mind, no, more my heart. It was me. I came to my mind. I was like, no, that can’t be right. Except it was. God was speaking to my heart about the hurt I’ve caused myself.
It’s imperative to know that when you pray to God for healing, He’s specific in getting your attention. He’s absolutely not limited to what He can use. I’ve dealt a lot with the pain caused by others, but getting personal about the pain I’ve caused myself is, well, too uncomfortable. It means I have to own my behavior. It means I have to take accountability, and it means apologies will be part of the healing process. And it means, dun, dun, dun…change.
Like the first line in the song, “I’m not a perfect person”. I haven’t found one person on earth who can truly claim through and through, they’re perfect.
There are things, “I wish I didn’t do”. Unfortunately, no amount of wishing is going to change what’s done.
But, in order to keep learning, and moving forward, it was time to visit places where I knew I needed not only forgiveness for me, but from my Heavenly Father. You see in the process of hurting me, I also hurt the One who created me. Did He want me to suffer those things? To cause myself pain? No.
The hurtful choices I made are my own. The hurtful words I say to myself are a reflection of the wordily standards I’ve mistakenly placed over and in my life. Those hurtful, ugly words…not from Jesus. He speaks words of life.
The beauty here is that unlike the lyric, “it’s something I must live with everyday”, I can lay the yoke of any burden that threatens to “kill, steal and destroy” (John 10:10) down at the feet of my Savior and He will forgive my transgression as far as the east is to the west (Psalm 103:12). I need only to receive the grace, mercy, love and forgiveness to live the abundant life my Father promises.
It’s a choice. Receive the abundant gifts or live in my own bitterness, resentment, and hurt. It’s a renewing of the mind (Romans 12:2) that needs to happen. Kicking the old thoughts to the curb and replacing them with the affirming life giving words from the lover our souls, Jesus Christ.
I don’t have to get caught up in the words of the silly love songs that threaten to take me down a rabbit hole of depression and angst. I don’t need a song to make me feel worse about myself. I got that covered pretty good, thank you very much. I don’t need a song that reminds me of the things I don’t have because of my screw-ups. I don’t need a song that speaks death into my life because I no longer have a “love” that only loved me for their convenience and ease. And I most assuredly don’t need a song that attacks who I am. Which by the way, is not a piece of meat to pick apart or tear down.
I can flip the script on all the silly love songs and have them be a life affirming love song between me and my Heavenly Father. And let’s talk about one last line of this song:
“I wish that I could take it all away”
Hindsight is 20/20, and if wishes were fishes, we’d all have a fry. The fact of the matter is, we have a choice over the words that come out of our mouth. And, we have a choice over our actions. See me and know I’m here with you. Because, “I’m not a perfect person,” is truth. I make mistakes. But it’s ok as long as I don’t allow it to become an excuse to change what God shows me needs changed. There’s a fancy word for that…it’s called repent. Which means to turn from your current “hurtful”/sinful ways.
Is it any wonder God gave us these words:
“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;“
James 1:19 (ESV)
Every person. No exemptions. Every.
God gifted us with two ears, and one mouth. Quick to hear, slow to speak. He knew how easy it is to be reactionary over cautionary. He gave us the instructions, what we do with them is a choice.
And with that, I’ll leave you with this, there’s nothing wrong with silly love songs, just be aware of the way you allow them to affect your heart; because everything you do, flows from it.
Happy Valentine’s day my friends. Remember, it’s still the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice in that!
Blessed to be Broken 