It’s funny, right? Not the haha kind of funny but the funny kind of ironic stuff that God eventually shows you. Each parent has the best interest in their child’s life. At least that’s what we want to believe. So which parent is being selfish in what they want for their child because the parents can only agree to disagree?
Who, in the end suffers because the parents can’t come to an agreeable consensus? And what happens when one parent decides to “convince” their child that their way is the better way? And then the other parent finds out there’s been some “convincing” behind the scenes, so now a whole new disagreement is in play and the child is smack dab in the middle of the parental attitude debate of my way or the highway.
Children are not pawns in your childish behavior.
Children are human beings who feel big. You should ask yourself, what will this do to my child if I try to manipulate them to my side of things so I can prove I know best. What will that eventually do when the truth comes out? Rest assured, it will come out, one way or another. Short term wins can have catastrophic long term consequences.
The problem here is both parents feel they’re correct. So how does a compromise come about? Asking friends can also be a problem because they tend to side with, well, their friend. Then the parent digs in even harder because now they have “support.” The truth of the matter is, each parent still has their child’s best interest at heart. But, now that’s been overridden with pride and vindication.
Is it really a victory if you have to garner support while maligning the other parent and manipulate behind the scenes? I think not.
Parenting is tough. Social media has made it tougher. We tend to make it tougher still when we put our wants and needs over the overall welfare of the child.
Bottom line, if you have to manipulate and drill your side of things into your child, you’ve lost perspective. Using your child in that manner creates problems you can’t even begin to fathom, but you will definitely see down the road.
To be responsible for a tiny human means you’re gonna have to realize that you’re not the only correct parent and just because you have a difference of opinion, it doesn’t make the other parent’s view less than yours. Riding a high horse only makes the fall that much further down.
I guess what I’m trying to say is, consider just for a moment, that maybe what you’re wanting, is not what’s in the best interest of the child. Yes, a child is an extension of the parents, but they’re not you. They were created with a specific and unique personality.
Trying to mold and manipulate them into your version of who they should be, what they should like, and what they should do, will leave everyone frustrated. And inevitably, they’ll resent the parent who pushed them into being something they were never created to be.
Contrary to popular belief, they’re not your mini you. You had your shot at that. You may see certain aspects of you in them, but that doesn’t make them you.
Listen to your kids. Watch how they grow. Encourage and discipline. Be a support system not a dictatorship. My way or the highway has never been a realistic tool. That’s an in the moment tactic that constantly changes depending on the season you’re in. It’s confusing and unrealistic.
Allow them to make mistakes. It’s how we all learn. Love them enough to let them fail. It’s how they learn consequence. And for the love of Pete, stop being jealous of your kids. there’s no reward in that for anyone.
Ok, I guess I’ve rambled on long enough. I’m no professional by any means. As a mom of an adult child, I’m still learning. As a grandparent, it’s a whole other birds eye view.
Never stop learning, because you never know when it’ll be useful in the long run. And being the perceived smartest person in the room, is just that, perception.
And when your child teaches you something, embrace that, because it’s awesome! Even a bit humbling. But, mostly awesome!
On that note, have an awesome day! Embrace the new and “don’t despise these small beginnings…”! Zechariah 4:10
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