Blessed to be Broken

“It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to, cry if I want to, cry if I want, you would cry too, if it happened to you.”

Those lyrics were sung by Lesley Gore back in 1963. The song was titled; “It’s my party.” Quite the catchy little tune if you ask me.

What does seeing a loved one do to your emotions when you see them cry?

Do you try to make them stop?

Do you throw humorous quips their way?

Do you cry alongside them?

Do you roll your eyes with impatience?

Do you threaten them?

Growing up, I was given the threat of “stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about” more often than not. It typically meant a butt whooping was forthcoming.

Ummm, hello, I was already crying about something and you want to give me something more to cry about? Make it make sense. You can’t.

When my own child use to cry, I immediately just wanted to make it better. In hindsight, I didn’t give him much opportunity to experience the emotions he needed to process. I tried to slap happy all over it and make it go away.

Much later in life, over several conversations, I found out for him, that wasn’t helpful. It was actually hurtful. The very opposite of what I was trying to do for him.

So, yesterday when my 9 year old granddaughter had an emotional day and needed to cry it out, I tried really hard to let her do just that; cry it out without trying to fix it for her.

I was there while she cried. I was there when she wanted held, and I was there when she wanted to share what was going on to cause such big crocodile tears. I gave her Kleenex when she needed them.

She eventually stopped crying but she wasn’t quite ready to jump back into life. She laid on the new rug and just let her body move over it as if it was soothing her.

When she was ready, she jumped back up and went back at life with enthusiasm and giggles.

I think it’s important to allow others to process their most intimate feelings with someone they trust.

It is easy? No. It can be super uncomfortable watching someone else in obvious pain. It can also stir up a number of things in our own lives we don’t want to be reminded of, let alone, deal with.

You know who doesn’t shy away from our tears?

Jesus. He collects our tears. He’s close to the brokenhearted. He’s intimately involved in what breaks our heart.

He is our ultimate healer. While we may be able to empathize with what someone else is going through, we don’t have access to everything that’s going on inside their minds or their hearts. We only get the information they choose to share. But, Jesus knows it all.

We can try to outfox Him, even pretend something doesn’t bother us (when it does) but He knows us better than we know ourselves. He sees right through our facade. Eventually, He will get to the heart of it.

So maybe the next time you see someone suffering, simply sit with them. Listen to them without an agenda to fix them. You may just find on the other side of someone else’s tears there was something you needed in your own life.

Being still is becoming a lost art. Yet, it’s something our bodies desperately need. When we don’t get it, our bodies rebel.

There’s so many benefits when we allow ourselves to cry. Look them up, it’s quite enlightening.

I’ll end with this, there’s no shame in crying. We all need to cry. Happy tears, sad tears, angry tears and any other tears are part of who we are. If we need to cry, why would we think someone else wouldn’t need the same?

So let them cry. If it makes you uncomfortable you may want to dive into why that happens. I bet if you do, you’ll see a point and time in your own life where you were taught to shut those emotions down.

But, what a blessing it can be, to be there for someone who feels safe enough to cry it out with you. To be that shoulder for someone in pain. To be that support and encouragement. To be the one who listens to hear, over listening to fix. To be the one who simply, lets them cry.

Have a beautiful day my friends! Live in the moment and seek God in all things! Much love!