Blessed to be Broken

In the military, when in formation, the designated leader of the squad called out commands the troops had to follow.

However, if the command they shouted out was not the correct command, (hey, it happens), then they could easily adjust the troops back to where they were by simply shouting, “As you were.”

It was as if the positional mistake never happened.

Being the leader of the squad required confidence. However, you can’t have confidence if you don’t know what you’re doing.

Before a squad leader could truly take command of the troops placed in their charge, they had to be taught how to lead.

You couldn’t fake your way through it. Picture a bunch of wind up toys bumping into each other. That’s what you’d have if you didn’t know how to call out the correct commands.

We all had to start at the beginning. Crawling typically happens before walking. And even then, you needed an assist with those first few upright steps.

Learning is a gift. But, in reality at this stage of my life, it feels like a chore. Like my brain is already on overload, but hey, have another heaping helping of overload on top of overload.

But, whose fault is that? Mine. It’s my fault. Like Taylor Swift sang, “It’s me, hi. I’m the problem, it’s me.”

It’s like I need someone to shout… “As you were, airman!”

That would however, require me to have been in an already good, as you were position.

I wonder when that was exactly? It’s like menopause moved in and said, move over, I got this from here on out.

Menopause is a horrible leader! I don’t know where she got her orders from, but she needs a serious time out.

In this day and age, I find it hard to believe that we don’t have better answers for menopause and how to manage, and if not manage, journey through it.

Take this or that supplement. Get on hormone replacement therapy. No, no, your bloodwork is fine. Have you talked to a therapist? I think you’re depressed. You sound stressed. You seem discombobulated.

And on top of that, everyone now has an opinion they want to fire in your general direction, and some of them aren’t even menopausal.

They just jumped on an opportunistic bandwagon to try and sell you something so they can make a profit off your crazy train mode.

Cortisol is your problem. No, you need magnesium. No wait, you need a combo of happy hormones. Even better, get on the nicotine patch, it’s totally non-addictive. Blink, blink. What?!

In this stage of life, I can’t go back to “As I was.” My non-choice is to move forward through it. There’s things my body does now that make me scratch my head, and make me want to hide under the blankets.

I can’t offer any kind of advice other than to say, keep moving. Literally, keep your body moving. Be like Gumby. Please tell me you remember Gumby, I don’t know if we can be friends if you don’t remember Gumby. HA!

Stretch and strengthen are gonna be your best friends during this “wonderful” change of life.

You won’t want to. Your body will hurt in places it may never hurt before. Do the exercise anyways. Not in the Princess Bride “To the pain” kind of way of exercising.

Just the get up and do something your body will thank you for later, kind of way. It could very well be, just a walk.

Eeek gads! Just a walk?! How lazy can you be?! Harumph! That’s worldly shame and guilt screaming in your ear hole. Don’t let it in. No one is on the exact same journey as you.

I’ll take it one step further. It’s ok to take off the step counter of shame or accomplishment. This could be the menopause talking, but do we really need a device to shame us? No, I don’t think we do.

You may gain unwanted weight. It may not come off as easily as it once did. Please, please, please do not berate your body over it.

She’s been through a lot to get you where you are, and she’s still working. Maybe not like how you want it to, but don’t give up on her. She still needs you to show up. Every. Single. Day.

I’m not the same person I was in my teens, my 20s, 30s, 40s or 50s. This is the first time I’ve ever been in my 60s and each day is new to me. I’m looking to those who have gone before me, who are willing to talk about how they got through this stage.

I know my journey won’t look exactly the same as anyone else. God in His infinite wisdom and glory created us in His image, yet unique and masterfully.

Comparing my journey to another is fruitless. Do I really need to kill any motivation or contempt by comparing me to anyone else? No, no I don’t.

Bottom line, I may not be where I thought or want to be, but, I can appreciate where I am, and the journey I’m on, knowing full well, God is with me, for me, and He will not leave or forsake me.

PS…I always thought 60 was like seriously OLD. Like crypt keeper old. I remember saying repeatedly, I never want to live to see 60. I’m so thankful, despite the menopausal stuff, God didn’t listen to me, and I’m still here.

And if you’re reading this, so are you! He has a plan for us my friends. Are you up for it? Because, “as you were”, is not, as you is. So be as IS as you are.

Peace and love to you!