Blessed to be Broken

I’m sure just like anyone else, no one likes to be sick. I’ve been pretty fortunate over the course of my life as far as illnesses go. But, then 2 weeks ago the flu came knocking on my door, and my body answered.

It’s been quite the roller coaster ride to say the least. At first, I thought it was a head cold. By the 5th day, I felt pretty good. Thought I’d kicked it to the curb. I went about my business, and was so relived.

Then day 6 arrived and by the evening I wanted to lop my head off. I don’t remember the last time I had that much pressure in my head. My cheeks were bright red. My eyes weeped as if the pressure found a good place to leak. My ears were plugged up, and blowing my nose was a new adventure in pain. My throat getting any type of sore makes my voice change pitch and crack like a teenaged boy.

Off to urgent care I went. I truly thought I had a sinus infection. I was surprised when I tested positive for the flu. Since this was already day 6, they sent me home with instructions for rest, and fluids, and prescribed nothing more than over the counter medications.

They told me I could expect 6-7 days more of yuck and warned me the flu was a tough opponent. Phssssttttt! I held my hand up as if to block that information getting into my already full head and uttered, 2-3 days, tops!

Welp, here I am on day 12. Day 12. What?! So much for my plans of only 2-3 more days. Ugh!

This morning, I was done. After another night of tossing and turning, and waking up in wet pajamas from all the sweating I didn’t even want to get out of bed. With a heavy, and defeated sigh, I told the Lord, “I’m done.” “I don’t have it in me to bother.” “I just don’t see the point.”

I reached over to the nightstand and grabbed my phone to see what time it was. I noticed a message from my grand daughter’s mom. I opened it up and immediately got all weepy. That little treasure of a child drew me a picture because she heard I was sick.

By the way, crying when you’re sick is not awesome. More snot on top of snot. Goodness! I won’t even tell you the number of tissue boxes I’ve gone through.

She drew a picture of me in a military uniform with the US flag behind me. If that wasn’t a call to order for me, I don’t know what was.

I looked up to the heavens and thanked God for that precious child. Check this though. Before I even muttered my “woe is me” lament to God, He already went before me, and worked through my grand daughter, and her mom. He’s awesome like that.

I threw off the blankets, put my feet on the floor, and muttered, “Not today Satan, not today.”

It’s not to say I don’t feel better, because I do. My voice is still off but unlike the past 2 days, I can at least stand to listen to the sound of my own voice. The cough is lessened, and the head pressure is next to nothing. Yet, another day of rest lies ahead.

Rest is hard. Rest means letting go of ALL the things in order for your body to recover from the most unwelcome houseguest ever.

Whatever strain of flu this is, is sneaky. It’s like one day it lulls you into thinking you’re better, then the next, it pulls the rug out from underneath you, and says just kidding.

They should call it the “ulf” instead of the flu, because that’s the sound I keep making. Ha!

Ok, let me tell you, I’ve not been alone in this battle. God has been with me every step of the way. Friends, and family have consistently checked in on me. A very thoughtful, and caring friend even brought me a beautiful care package. Then of course, today, the drawing from my grand daughter.

But that’s not all. His word brings me comfort, and hope. This morning I was led to Psalm 143:8~10;

“Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning,
for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk, for I give myself to you. Rescue me from my enemies, Lord; I run to you to hide me. Teach me to do your will, for you are my God. May your gracious Spirit lead me forward on a firm footing.” (NLT)

Friend, wherever you are, let me remind you, God sees you. He hears you. But, more than that, He loves you. Maybe you don’t see that right now through your circumstances. I get it.

God’s sovereign reign can leave me utterly stupefied. Then I remember, I’m not God. I don’t ever have the full picture of what’s happening. But, I do know, I’m part of His plans.

And that’s the thing, right? When our plans don’t mesh with His plans, we get all out of sorts. We question Him, get mad at Him, and sometimes, walk away from Him.

And yet, God waits for us to return. Even more audacious, He keeps pursuing us. That’s some crazy love right there. We deny Him, and He keeps on, keeping on. He never stops being God.

Where ever you are my friend, I’d ask you to stop for a few minutes. Get still. Ask Jesus a personal question. I have every faith, He’ll answer. Stay alert though, because it may surprise you how and when He does.

Remember, He has more ways to answer than you can possibly imagine. He is after all, the Lord of ALL.

Have a beautiful day! Much love to you all.