Blessed to be Broken

One woman from Arizona.

One woman from Connecticut.

One woman from New York.

One woman from Ohio.

Our backgrounds and stories are different, yet similar, with one for sure commonality; we all wound up serving in the Alaska Air National Guard, located in, well, Anchorage, Alaska.

How we all got there doesn’t matter for this story. What matters here, is this is the place God decided to begin weaving the tapestry of our lives together.

This story took years to get to the point I’m about to share. Not unlike many of the stories in the Bible or in real life.

The Guard base where we did life together wasn’t huge. If you didn’t know someone to look at them, you probably heard their name a time or two. It felt like you were working with family. A great big, diverse, dysfunctionally functional family. At the time, at least for me, it was really the best place to work.

Let’s face it though. It was the military. People came and went. One thing they say about Alaska is, you either love or hate it. There’s no in between. I found that to be mostly true. I loved it for 20 years. It wasn’t that I hated it, but I’d grown extremely weary of the long winters. like many before me, it was time to leave the 49th state.

All four of us retired from the military and went our separate ways. Just know, a lot of life was lived out during our years together in Alaska.

So, where are we now? I’m so glad you asked.

One friend remains in Alaska.

One friend snowbirds between Alaska and Arizona.

One friend resides in Montana.

One friend resides in New York.

Fast forward to March 2023 when a trip for the four of us to go to Memphis together got recalculated to Alaska.

Imagine New York’s (NY) surprise when Montana (MT) suggested we go back to Alaska (AK). Especially since MT said she’d never go back to AK. I think MT surprised herself with the suggestion. But, the desire to see For King and Country is strong in this one. Ha! To her, it seemed like a no brainer to head back given they’d be performing at the AK State Fair. Alrighty then, let’s get this party started.

In August of 2023, MT and NY hopped on their perspective aircraft and jetted their way to the place they remembered.

We both had mixed emotions about returning to AK. But something really cool happened to both of us while we were heading on the last leg of our trip there. MT arrived an hour later, which means we weren’t on the same flight. But we both saw this rainbow below our different aircraft’s with the shadow of the aircraft inside the rainbow.

For me, I knew that everything was gonna be alright. There was no need for me to fear my imagined scenarios coming to pass in a way that God had not already arranged. If indeed any of them came to pass.

Reunited! The four of us headed to our friends cabin to set up for the week. I can’t possibly go into every detail of the trip. Some of our plans for the week worked out but others needed tweaking or rearranging. If you asked me, the best part of our trip was all of us attended church together, then the concert, then a trip to Talkeetna, and of course seeing a select number of friends.

When I was stationed in Alaska, I wasn’t a follower of Christ. I was as far as you could get from Him. Pleasure was the name of the game. Let me just say, the world’s definition of pleasure cost me a lot. It almost destroyed me.

When God shut the door to Alaska after I moved, I didn’t keep it shut. I kept opening the door and romanticizing the time I’d spent there. My soul was constantly in a state of unrest because even though I willingly moved back to NY, I didn’t want to be here. Life once again looked nothing like what I thought it would. Which is funny, because if you asked me, I couldn’t tell you exactly what I thought it should look like. I just knew this couldn’t be it.

When you live your life from this standpoint, you live, at least for me, in a state of flight. It’s hard to be present when you’re always looking for next.

I truly thought when I looked down from the plane window and saw the place I’d been romanticizing, I’d weep and feel a sense of “home.” Imagine my surprise when neither happened. The only thing I recollect feeling was excitement to see my friends.

I texted my friends who were picking me up to let them know my plane landed. I got my luggage and stepped outside. Since my friends weren’t there yet, I stood there looking around at the familiar landscape. I thought, “Welcome back to AK.” Not home.

Twelve years is a long time not to be somewhere. A LOT will change. But I couldn’t envision the changes until I saw them for myself. This was not the Alaska I’d been romanticizing. More importantly, I was not the same person who once lived here for 20 years. The realization that this place was no longer where I belonged brought me so much peace. I could finally set that tightly wound coil of unsettledness, free.

God in all His infinite wisdom did know what He was doing, it just took me 12 years of wrestling to finally let go of what was no longer mine.

He had indeed been faithful and brought me into a new land. Familiar yet different, filled with new treasures waiting to be unearthed.

As far as MT is concerned, well, let’s just say, whatever trepidation she felt about the trip, she also knew she had nothing to fear. She knew she was right where she was meant to be.

Let’s wrap this up.

As I previously stated, we all attended church together. It was amazing. The first song led by the worship team was called, “Egypt”. Coincidence? I think not. Here’s the link for you to listen to the song. Egypt – Bethel Music with Cory Asbury

The message preached from Church on the Rock, in Willow AK, was entitled, “The Stand – Many hands make light work”. It was the first message in the series. Pastor Josh O’Donnell gave a message about your tribe. It was perfect.

Your tribe is important. They can be local. They can be scattered around the world. Either way, I hope you have one. I love that some of my tribe is scattered. It gives me places to visit, but more importantly, it reminds me God is everywhere doing what only He can do.

The time MT and I spent with our tribe in AK was absolutely priceless. It’s a gift created and given to us by God that started years ago and is still being written. I love that!

But, alas, all good things must come to an end. The week was over and it was time to say goodbye. So, MT and NY walked out of their “Egypt,” and back into the land God gave them, tucking their memories away, as they headed home.