This morning I found myself in an angry mood. Like how is it even possible to be angry without anything even really happening yet?
As I’m talking it out with God, while trying to listen to a “Gratitude devotional,” (did you catch the irony there), I berated myself for even being angry. Like, my anger was something to be stuffed down and swallowed so it could continue to fester in the dark.
It was then my Heavenly Father asked me why I was being dismissive of myself? Wait, what? So, I had to sit with that. Anger stuffed down, will find its way out. Most likely, someone close to you will suffer the brunt of your unchecked emotion. Then you have that to deal with.
On the show, “The Big Bang Theory,” Penny never pays any real attention to the “check engine” light in her car. She just keeps saying “it’s fine” to anyone who points out the light is on. Eventually, her car gives up. It sputters and spews, as smoke fills the engine area and then it completely dies.
Consider your emotions as your check engine light. They’re telling you something. They’re letting you know, something requires your attention. Ignoring or dismissing them, will not make them disappear. You either deal with them, or they’ll deal with you.
In dismissing my anger away, I was telling myself, I wasn’t worth my own attention. That I didn’t really matter. That it was just an extension of my constant state of ungratefulness and I just needed to get over myself. But, it wasn’t. It went so much deeper than that.
So, as silly as it sounds, I apologized to myself for ignoring the “silly” check engine light. I sat in it. I processed it with God and now I’m sharing it with you.
If God thinks every detail of our life matters, why would we think any less about our own lives? Why do we ignore what we’re feeling? Where did we learn to do that? Acknowledging our emotions is simply giving ourselves permission to look under the hood. It may be a minor adjustment or something that goes deeper than a quick glance.
Either way, daily maintenance is critical to how you keep your heart in check.
Proverbs 4:23 reminds us; “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” (NIV)
When was the last time you checked your engine? I daresay, your well being depends on it.
Blessed to be Broken 
I learned to stuff my emotions because it caused those who hurt me to feel discomfort and I would be punished or rejected even further. Not being able to process the reality of hurtful events in a healthy way meant I also couldn’t get to the point of being able to process the truth of God in those events. I am so thankful for my GOD Who is VERY interested in the tiniest details of my life. Thank you Lord for Your healing and wholeness and thank you Trish for always pointing us to Jesus! 🙏💕
For some reason I’ve been holding off reading this post… Today I decided to finally read it and it fits my life these past few days “to a T” 😉 God Bless!
It’s all about that timing, right?! I hope all is well Jiminy! Thanks for taking time to read and comment, I truly appreciate it. 😊 God bless and happy holidays. Don’t forget your fruitcake. 😜