Blessed to be Broken

God's not finished with me yet!

The Favorite

on July 19, 2022

You were their favorite. The baby of our dysfunctional family. It came at a cost. It sucks when parents single out a child as their favorite. Everyone suffers. Including the favored child.

How ironic that you would be the first to leave this earth. You found solace in the mired depths of alcohol attempting to silence the demons that daily hunted and chased you down. You were sad, angry, and misunderstood. Also, loving, compassionate, and beautiful.

You never asked to be the favorite. But you had special needs that required more attention than your older siblings. We’ll never know what it felt like for you. We were too focused on what it felt like for us.

Today is your birthday. I’ve been thinking about you a lot. I sang “happy birthday“ to you. It’s what I do. Eleven years ago, I called to sing to you. I was shocked to hear your actual voice. Back then you hardly ever answered the phone. I was so shocked I forgot to sing. We had a nice conversation and you ended it with ”goodbye sister of my loins.” Ummm, what? You said it was from a movie. You thought it was hysterical.

After we hung up, I realized I forgot to sing to you. I waited about an hour and then called you back. Imagine my shock and surprise when you answered again. You were supposed to be running your errand. So we talked a bit more.

I was nearing my retirement from the military. You said you wished I lived closer so we could have face to face conversations. You told me about a town you loved in New York called Skaneateles. Pronounced skinny-atlas. You said I should check into it. The fact that I was even considering coming back to the NY area was confounding since I swore I’d never move back that way.

Next thing I know, I’m looking up the chamber of commerce website for Skaneateles. The picture that first appears is beautiful gazebo on a lake. I see another picture of town folks dressed up in costumes for the annual Charles Dickens festival. I’m enthralled. I knew in my knower I had to get there. Not sure what it is about gazebo’s, but I love them.

Months later, I would move to Auburn, begin working at a bed-and-breakfast as an innkeepers assistant and my beloved employer would be a part of my Jesus story. Buckle up, because I’m about to tell you how God chose a proclaimed atheist to save my life.

My brother said he believed in science and facts, not God. But God, despite my brothers belief still created him and still knew him. He even loved my brother. Loved him so much he knew his heart, his desires and answered a prayer to have his sister move closer, so they could have more face to face conversations.

I don’t believe for a second it was a coincidence my brother answered that second phone call and told me about Skaneateles. My brother loved this town, I loved gazebos’s and lakes and I had a dream to own a bed-and-breakfast. That is until I worked at one. But, that’s a story for another day.

The bed-and-breakfast where I worked, was located in Auburn, NY. My employer attended church in Skaneateles at Grace chapel. Eventually, I would join her and her family and we’d attend church together after we served breakfast and got the guests checked out. Sunday was my favorite workday.

After attending this church for several months, they began talking about their next baptismal ceremony. I felt called to take this next step in my faith journey. This is the best part.

My baptismal took place at Skaneateles lake, at the very spot that I once viewed from a computer screen, some 4,360 miles away. And yes, the gazebo was there.

God in all His glory and sovereignty can use anything and anyone. He’s not limited by what you believe. He used my brother and a gazebo to get me right where He needed me to be. His good plan included an “atheist”. Don’t worry about my brother. His salvation story was written long before life things happened.

I love and miss my brother. God loves him more. I have no doubt my brother is God’s favorite. I’m ok with that, because I’m His favorite too. Guess what? So are you.


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