Blessed to be Broken

God's not finished with me yet!


on March 2, 2022

Before I dive into what’s on my heart today, I’m going to put this out there. The season of Lent begins today. 40 days is how long Jesus spent in the wilderness, fasting and being tempted by the devil. Don’t believe me? You can read it for yourself here in Matthew 4:1-11. It’s a season of preparation and reflection leading up to Easter. Moving on.

As I sat with Jesus this morning, I asked Him, “what would you have me give up during this season“? I had my own ideas. Mostly they’re driven from a place of guilt and my own condemnation. But, guilt and condemnation as we know, are not from God. So, I placed all my ideas on the table.

I didn’t get an answer right away, but I knew He’d be faithful to answer in His time. Turns out, that time was while I was in the shower singing a song of praise in my head. Earlier I had started to write a Facebook post about “Better”. As I got stuck writing part of it, I thought, “who cares about this any way?” So, I deleted the post and went on my merry way. La. la la. Post totally forgotten.

Until the shower. And then I knew what I knew. So, my answer in asking what I should give up to honor God in this season of Lent, is…drum roll please. Self-doubt. Ugh! Ok, Lord, I hear you. And in what area of my life would you like me to give up self-doubt? The word that came to mind. “Better”. Remember the FB post I told you about and how I deleted it and put it behind me? Apparently, it matters to my Heavenly Father. And what matters to Him, matters to me.

So, for the next (gulp) 40 days, I’ll be writing my little heart out, right here, with you all. I don’t know what it will look like, but that’s what faith is all about. This is me walking on water. Thanks for joining me! Now, let’s get this party started!

You could be better. Those weren’t the exact words a person spoke to me years ago, but it’s what I wrote on my heart. It came from years of being told I could do things “better”. I’m totally ok with learning new things. Ways that are tried, tested and true are great, but progress never came from sticking with “this is the way things have always been done.”

This time it was different. It took a lot for me back in the day to apologize. It’s not that I didn’t apologize, it just took a lot of “rehearsal” in my head before I ventured into the “I was wrong” waters. You can imagine the gut punch I felt when I apologized and was told, “thanks, but you could’ve apologized better.” To say I lost it, is an understatement.

Peeling back the layers of hurt caused by others is a journey. You never quite know when something is going to strike and trigger a buried wound or wounds that makes it feel as if it just happened. For me, that was the other day.

All this means is there was something in my heart that didn’t belong. It was time to let God in and heal the broken bits. But, that takes action on my part; hold onto the offense or forgive what I could in that moment. I chose to forgive. Why? Because it’s the better choice. Seriously, what good has ever come from holding on to hurt and pain? I’ll let you answer that for yourself.

I still believe most people mean well, they just don’t always say or do, well-meaning things. Myself included. We all grieve the heart of God. We all need forgiveness. How you perceive forgiveness is between you and God. I see forgiveness as a beautiful gift.

Jesus gave us an amazing example of forgiveness as He hung on the cross, dying. He’d been falsely accused, beaten, spit upon, and nailed to a sinner’s cross. Yet, He plead with His Father in what must have been excruciating pain:

Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”

Luke 23:34

Whoa! Talk about courage in the face of adversity. My friends, forgiveness is not weakness, it’s a strength. To face your pain, to wrestle with the unfairness and come out on the other side, is a gift. It makes me stronger, bolder, and more courageous. Instead of weaker, pained, and fearful. I think we can agree this is a beautiful exchange from our Heavenly Father that leads us into an abundant life.

Please remember that just as peeling back the layers of hurt in life is a journey, so is forgiveness. It’s not always a one and done. But, if you persevere, pray for those who hurt you, and give thanks for what God is doing, you’ll get to where God is leading you.

I promise you, His ways are always and forever, BETTER!

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