It’s Not Okay

I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” ~ Matthew 12:36-37 (ESV)

The other day I got a text message from a dear friend. Not just any friend, but a friend who goes out of her way to make the world a better place. She knows pain. She knows what it’s like to have her feelings hurt. She doesn’t want that for those she loves or comes into contact with, so she encourages and uplifts.

To say I got a little peeved when I found out someone made a unwarranted, hurtful comment to her is an understatement. Not only did I get upset for her, but I got super upset over the way she was hurt. Why? Because it’s not okay.

It’s not okay for anyone to make a comment about someone else’s body. Please read that again. None of us have that right. It’s none of our business. Unfortunately, somewhere along the way we’ve made it our business and blurred the lines of what’s acceptable.

Let’s look up the word harass, shall we? For the purposes of this post, we’re going to go with this definition from Merriam Webster:

to create an unpleasant or hostile situation for especially by uninvited and unwelcome verbal or physical conduct.

Can you see how an unwelcomed comment concerning body type could easily be considered harassment?

You can blame the careless and reckless use of your words on society or some other reason, but the truth of the matter is, if it comes from your lips, you’re solely responsible for it. Period.

Even as I’m typing this message I’m having a hard time not blurting out the thoughts flying around in my brain. But if I typed exactly what I was thinking, it wouldn’t be helpful. It’s not my desire to compound an already tender issue with more hate and discontent.

My body is not up for your debate. My body was not designed, built, or created in, or to your standard. The fact that anyone thinks they need to make any kind of comment as to what anyone looks like, says 100 times more about them than it ever will about the person being verbally attacked.

Make no mistake, careless words have the power to hurt, even devastate someone. Is that how you like to be treated? I know for certain it’s not how I like to be treated. I also know for certain, that I’ve treated others recklessly with my own careless words. I’m not perfect. But, that’s no excuse for being nasty. It’s simply a cover-up to justify the nastiness.

It’s not okay!

I’ve been reminded of the many times over the course of my God-given life of the careless words I’ve said to myself. On any given day, you can find me fluctuating between the realization of who God says I am or the skewed worldly views that always remind me of who I’m not.

And that’s it, right there. We bought the lies that tell us, we’re not pretty enough, we’re not smart enough, we’re not skinny enough, we’re not rich enough….when is enough, enough?

I can’t answer that for you. I can only answer that for me. My heart hurts for the constant barrage of hateful things said to others in the “heat of the moment.” We’ve become complacent in hate. We’ve allowed it to seep into all of our crevices and it can’t help but pour itself out for fear it may totally consume us. Except, we have a choice.

Let’s dive a bit deeper into that passage of Matthew that opened this blog with The Message translation.

“If you grow a healthy tree, you’ll pick healthy fruit. If you grow a diseased tree, you’ll pick worm-eaten fruit. The fruit tells you about the tree. “You have minds like a snake pit! How do you suppose what you say is worth anything when you are so foul-minded? It’s your heart, not the dictionary, that gives meaning to your words. A good person produces good deeds and words season after season. An evil person is a blight on the orchard. Let me tell you something: Every one of these careless words is going to come back to haunt you. There will be a time of Reckoning. Words are powerful; take them seriously. Words can be your salvation. Words can also be your damnation.”” ~ Matthew 12:33-37

You see, as I stated earlier, we have a choice. My son tells me that when I pass from this life to the next, he’s going to take my remains and make me into a tree. It makes me laugh. I don’t know if he’ll actually do that or not. But, if he does, I hope I’m a tree that produces healthy fruit.

That’s the legacy I’d like to leave behind for those who come after me. Healthy fruit. Life giving, healthy fruit that carries over from generation to generation.

It doesn’t have to be complicated. In fact, you probably heard this before, “if you ain’t got nothing nice to say, DON’T say it.” We literally do not have to comment on everything we come across. It’s a choice.

It’s my heartfelt prayer no one ever speaks another mean word to you but if they do, I hope your roots are firmly planted in the love of Jesus Christ and who He says you are. He is after all, the sustainer of ALL that is good.

And that is something worthy of all our praise!

Have a beautiful day my friends!

One response to “It’s Not Okay”

  1. Amen, sista friend! Preach it! Your pen points us to pray & praise God who made us all in His image! Let me strut myself for Him today!

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