Blessed to be Broken

Yesterday, I made a post on my Facebook wall. This morning when I woke up, the overflow from that post was still swirling around in my head. So, I started doing what I do, and I paced around my house and spoke all the things out loud to God. Why? Because I know He can handle ALL my thoughts and because I didn’t need that gunk trying to take hold in my being.

Where did it start? Yesterday morning. A simple yet nice compliment followed by a not so simple statement about my appearance. Do I believe it was meant to do harm? Absolutely not. Did it do irreparable damage? No. It did however attack the most vulnerable part of me. Not right away though. No, it came back later when I was alone. And when it came for me, I got angry. Let me ‘splain Lucy.

Recently, a Christian author I like came out with a new book. It’s called “The Lie You Don’t Know You Believe” by Jennie Allen and while I haven’t received my copy, I did take the quiz related to the book.

Without getting into too much detail, one of the three lies she believes is at our core exists until we get to the root of it and then start fighting back with God’s truth.

When I took the quiz, I pretty much got exactly what I thought I would. I’m unloveable. Now, I don’t tell anyone this so they can love bombard me. Because all the compliments in the world cannot get to the root of why I believe what I believe.

Doing the work of getting to the root of a heart issue, at least for me is hard. It means I have to face the things that typically someone said and somewhere along the line it grabbed on for dear life and I, without knowing, let it begin to define me.

So, what do I do? I become someone I’m not and try to please everyone into loving me. Convince them, that I’m lovable by becoming who they need me to be. And it works! Until it doesn’t. Ask me how I know.

You can only pretend to be someone you’re not for so long and eventually your body and mind begin to shut down. Kinda like a robot running out of electricity. If you’re like me and you know who Will Robison is from that old television show “Lost in Space” you just heard “Danger, Will Robinson. Danger” while your arms flail about uncontrollably.

When this happens, all manner of things can happen in our bodies. Anxiety, depression, and anger to name of few will creep in, and want answers.

I’d like to say there’s a simple way to reverse the damage of the lies we believe, but just as it took time for negative things to take root and be lived out, it’s gonna take time for the reverse of that to become the truth we walk in. And unless it’s the truth of God that we walk in, we’ll keep walking alongside the enemy who comes like a thief to kill, steal and destroy.

Remember earlier when I said I got angry? This was what I wrote yesterday after I realized the sneak attack from the enemy who knows best where I’m vulnerable.

“I will keep saying it, till it’s no longer the norm. My body, in fact, no one’s body in any way, shape, or form is open for your commentary. I say this with love, but if someone feels the need to comment on what your body looks like, please remember it’s more about them. For me, it’s not a compliment if I lose weight. It’s a backhand swing. I don’t need to explain why. You don’t know the types of internal and external battles including body shape someone is fighting. We’ve become beyond critical of the human form. It was not designed by you. It was not created for you. And it’s not yours to condemn.

Death and life are in the power of the tongue. If you can’t simply compliment a person for who they are over the way they look, please check your heart and consider keeping your thoughts to yourself.

Hmmm. Can’t imagine why there’s so much anxiety and idolacy caused over the way we look.”

When I stated, if someone feels the need to comment on your body it’s more about them, than you, I meant it. If you have the opportunity, listen to how they speak about others. Listen to how they speak about their own bodies. It’s their heart stuff leaking out all over the place and it can come out as the most subtle of attacks.

It’s like their vulnerability knows your vulnerability and it knows exactly how to strike. That’s why Ephesians 6:12 warns us:

“For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.” ~ ESV

That’s why it’s so important to know the truth of who you as a creation of God. We are made in His image. Not other humans.

Yet, daily we speak out of line with His truth when we attack another human being who we think doesn’t measure up the to impossible standards made up by man that we took in and sealed it up as truth, when in fact it’s a lie.

I could go on and on about this topic, but I think I’ve made my point. For me, the lie of being unlovable started in my childhood. It’s something I have to armor up for on the daily. I battle it with knowing I’m already loved, accepted, and precious in my Father’s eyes!

You know what? So are you! You are loved unconditionally. You are accepted in your Father’s eyes, and you are more precious than all the other things on this earth. Created in His image for His purpose for such a time as this.