Blessed to be Broken

“It’s funny how our past frames us. The person we used to be, never lets go of the person we are. Past failures and disappointments even victories take hold of us. They haunt like ghosts or visit us like old friends.” ~ One Tree Hill (season 9, episode 13)

My previous publishing was about me attending an AA meeting.

Obviously when you open yourself up in a public way, you’ll get all manners of comments.

My posts, in their simplest form, at least in my mind, are to help and encourage others to move past the yuck, and step into the light that awaits them on the release and other side of that yuck.

From that post, I received so many encouraging comments and one pretty disturbing comment. I was both shocked and heartbroken over what that one comment said.

I always heard there will be people who will encourage you as you heal, and people who will remind you who you used to be.

The person I used to be, would’ve tolerated that negative comment, and bent over backwards to fix what was broken.

But, the person I am today, has no time for attempting to heal what’s broken in another person. I used to think that was my job, but now I know, that job belongs to God.

I will listen, I will mourn with another, I will celebrate with another, I’ll apologize and ask forgiveness when necessary, and I’ll be your biggest cheerleader.

What I won’t be is anyone’s emotional punching bag.

Forgiveness means you don’t consistently throw a persons past in their face and ignore the part you played.

Relationships aren’t typically one sided. Always playing the victim and trying to make yourself seem the bigger person, is actually pretty narcisstc behavior.

If that’s how you want or choose to be, that’s fine. Please just keep that mess in your own yard and stop throwing stones that attempt to re-wound the healing person you think you’ve forgiven without putting your own actions under a microscope. Whew, can you say, run-on sentence? Ha!

Relationships are complicated and happen over a season or several seasons. Sometimes they bring the best out, sometimes the worst. A lot of times, both the best and worst.

To quote A Tale of Two Cities: “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.” It’s nothing new.

How you move forward with a person is how you either keep or release a relationship. It’s easy to love someone at their best.

But if the past has been apologized for, and you’ve “accepted,” then either move forward with the person or if the wounds run too deep, please let it go.

It’s much better to let it go, than to harbor the ill effects in your soul. Forgiving won’t mean you’ll necessarily forget, but it does mean you plunge the clogged toilet.

People shouldn’t be held hostage to a constant apologetic state because unforgiveness is truly what’s being held onto.

I don’t always get things right. I’m not perfect. Show of hands for someone who is, other than Jesus Christ.

Hurt people hurt people. Healed people encourage others. So many are hurting. So many are healing. You don’t know what stage a person is in, so please just be kind.

It may cost you to stop and re-examine your words and motives behind them, but isn’t that what taking the higher road is all about?

If you’re unable to do that, then release the person, and stop holding them and yourself hostage. Forgiveness doesn’t necessarily include reconciliation.

Jesus said, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” ~ John 13:34-35

It’s a command. Just like the other commandments. It’s for our good. Not for our harm.

I’m so thankful for the relationships God’s brought into my life. I’ve learned something from each and every one. And yes, I’ve caused pain that I can’t fix or take back. But, I also won’t stay stuck in a place where I’m no longer living.

Jesus says I’m forgiven. People hold onto things so much longer and harder than God ever intended. But, there’s always a path forward. It’s begins each day with the rising of the sun.

It’s a choice how you walk through each new day. Just know love is always with you and live from that, because love my friends, covers a multitude of sins.

Have a beautiful skip-a-dee-do-da day!