Blessed to be Broken

God's not finished with me yet!

Some Day

“Oooh child, things are gonna get easier. Ooooh child things’ll get brighter.”

If you know the 1970s song “Ooh Child” sung by The Five Stairsteps, then you, like me, totally sang that opening line.

This song has been ruminating around in my head for months. At first glace, it sounds promising. Things are not only gonna get easier, they’re gonna get brighter. Thank you Jesus!

Then the next line of the song begins. “Some day”.

I don’t want these things some day, I want them now. Some day is too vague. Some day is like soon. Sigh! Can you see me stomping my feet? In addition to the foot stomping, I’ll say my new favorite word as taught to me by my beautiful grand daughter “biscuits”.

Maybe like me you’re waiting on some day. Maybe like me the last few months feel more like the lyrics from the song sung by the Eagles “On a dark desert highway”.

New beginnings are supposed to be exciting, right? New beginnings are about shedding the old, and stepping boldly into the day with enthusiasm and new found joy. That is, until they’re not.

A lot has changed for me and mine in a few short months. Some good, some awful, and some is just plain harder to navigate than I’d like.

This is not how I thought life would go. This is not where I thought I’d be in this stage of my life. I had preconceived notions. Maybe you can relate.

But life has a way of flipping your world upside down and inside out. And that’s where I find myself now.

For the last 15.5 years I had a sidekick like no other. A beautiful fur baby named Gabby. I found her in Kansas and she traveled all the way to Alaska to be my gurl. That’s not a typo. I always referred to her as my Gabby Gurl.

She then traveled from Alaska to New York. The stress she experienced from that move almost killed her Thank you Jesus for healing her from that trauma.

I could brag on Gabby Gurl for days and days. If you’ve ever loved a fur baby, I know, you know. And if you ever met Gabby gurl, you know.

Gabby didn’t get sick very often, but when she did get sick, she got sick! She never complained if she was in pain, which made it much harder to know if something was really wrong. In turn, when I did find out something was wrong, I felt horrible and wondered how long she may have been in pain.

Watching your fur baby go through all the phases of life is awesome…until it’s not. Like us, they get sick, they get boo-boo’s, they grow up, they get old, and eventually pass from this earth.

Holding your fur baby in your arms as she passes from this earth over the rainbow bridge is the most heart-wrenching punch in the gut thing ever! And just when you think it can’t get any worse, you have to leave them behind and walk away empty handed.

Life as I knew it, is forever changed. When I walk through the door, the unconditional love of the wiggle butt no longer greets me. The 12-15 pound bed hog no longer occupies the bed. How can such a tiny dog take up so much bed space?! It would be easy to focus on all the things I lost when her body finally gave out. But what an injustice to the memory of a life that loved me so well.

Gabby had so many good days and beating myself up over the things I should’ve done or could’ve done better takes away from the love we shared. No relationship is perfect and nothing was going to stop the inevitable.

Romans 12:2 reminds me to be transformed by the renewing of my mind so when I spiral down I ask Jesus to help me remember the good times that encompassed a life well lived over the negative things that so easily consume my being.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve wailed, I’ve ugly cried until no more tears could fall, and I still look for her. I still sing and talk to her. And she responds with being forever be in my heart.

And when I reflect back, I know in my heart of hearts, we’ll meet again … some day.

Me and my Gabby Gurl when she was just a pup!
Forever my Gabby Gurl!
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