Blessed to be Broken

God's not finished with me yet!


I’m so incredibly heartbroken over the latest senseless murders in Nashville. I’m so distraught in my soul that we’ve yet to discuss how to better protect our schools from people hell bent on killing children and adults for their own evil desires. I’m so sick of labeling the killers as this mental disease or another. I’m so sick of hearing we need more gun control. All we do is talk, talk, talk, with little to no action. All we do is feed the daily narrative. Mostly, I’m so sick and heartbroken of hearing how our children are being traumatized and murdered.

We’ve become a country of excuses and object blame. We’ve become pawns in the game of far left or far right. We’ve made enemies of eachother over politics, and people/children are dying because of it. We literally can’t agree on what’s most important. We’ve turned politics into an idol and placed a figurative elephant and donkey on a pedestal and bowed down to its’ perceived authority. How is that any different from years ago when the Israelites took their gold and turned it into a golden calf then literally bowed down to their jewelry and trinkets giving it praise and worship? As if polished jewelry turned into a calf somehow gave it god-like powers. It was literally a man-made statue. And don’t even get me started on how we still idolize jewelry today.

Unfortunately, murder is nothing new. It’s as old as time. We can argue all day long about gun control, but that won’t stop the murdering. We’ve proved long ago that when killing is the motive we can make a weapon out of anything. Evil will do what evil is intent on doing. Can you say Cain and Abel? God didn’t mess around when He approached Cain about the murder of his brother. He didn’t label Cain with this or that malady. He even warned Him not to let his anger get the best of him. Cain didn’t listen. He did what was in his heart to do. He murdered his brother over jealousy.

Audrey Hale was fully aware of what she was about to do. She even told a friend about it. Not her exact plans, but enough that her friend contacted the police. Audrey wanted to kill herself. She wanted to die. She wanted to kill. And she did. It was pre-meditated. Her labels don’t change the fact she knew what was morally right and wrong. Yet, we give her an out, based on her mental illness. We highlight her high functioning autism and her choice of transgenderism and blame her heinous action on her mental illness. I can’t help but ask the question, are we making an idol out of mental illness? Please understand I’m not attacking mental illness. I know all too well the effects. I’m just asking are we now using it as a common place excuse of accountability.

The only person who truly knows what happened to Audrey, is God. He knows exactly what brought her to the point of destruction. All we have now are best guesses and a supposed manifesto. All we’ll be fed is what the media wants us to know and then believe. Be careful what you choose to believe as “truth.”

What we do know from the video footage is, it didn’t matter the school doors were locked, the glass wasn’t bulletproof. But, you can bet your sweet patootie those political figure heads who tout gun control have bullet-proof vehicles, panic rooms/bunkers, and security details armed heavily with what….oh, that would be guns. This is not a message about gun control. Just simply pointing out the hypocrisy of this nation.

I love my country. I served in the military for my country. I love that once upon a time, immigrants looked to this country as a dream fulfilling sanctuary. I love so many things about this country. But, I would be remiss to talk about all the good and nothing of the evil that infiltrates and plagues it.

No, this is not my typical type of blog. I don’t normally want to talk about the evils of this world, because it’s easier to mourn and then sweep it under the rug than it is to face. It’s big and scary and most times so unbelievable that this is what our country has become, that hiding in my home feels safer than being out in the world.

But, you see, I’m a child of God and greater is He that is in me, than he who is in the world. (John 4:4) I do not have a spirit of fear. I have a spirit of power, love and a sound mind. (2 Timothy 1:7) Hiding in my home serves no one but me. I’ve been called to serve. I’ve been called to fight the good fight of faith. (1 Timothy 6:12) It matters in whom your faith is placed. Have you checked your heart lately to see where and in whom your faith is placed?

God warned us that we would have trouble in this world, but to take heart because He overcame the world. Remember, God warned Cain before He killed Abel. He gave him a way out. Cain didn’t take it. The free will given to us is a gift. How we use it, is a choice. Our choices, every single one of them, matters.

I can’t begin to imagine the horrific fear, pain, and sorrow these families are experiencing. My heart is broken for them. My soul cries out for justice. I ask, if you’ve read this far to please pray for the families and community of this latest, senseless tragedy. Please also pray for Audrey Hale’s family. Despite what happened, they also lost their loved one.

Six lives tragically taken from this world. Six lives who will no longer suffer the pains and sorrows of this world. Six lives that woke up, went about their day with absolutely no knowledge of what was coming. Six lives, now safely in the arms of Jesus.

Evelyn Dieckhaus, 9
William Kinney, 9
Hallie Scruggs, 9
Mike Hill, 61
Katherine Koonce, 60
Cynthia Peak, 61

Rest in Peace


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