December | 2022 | Blessed to be Broken

I’ve Got It

by Trish Cordell

The other day at the grocery store, I had to reach quite far under the top shelf to get the big plastic wrapped container of 35-16 oz., water. Or is it waters? Either way, as I hoisted it up to walk it around to the front of the cart, a gentleman said, “Here, let me get that for you,” as he started walking towards me. Ummm. What? I replied with, “No thanks, I’ve got it.” He said, “Are you sure, it looks pretty heavy”. He wasn’t wrong, it wasn’t light. But, I reiterated, “It’s ok, I’ve got it”. Then we parted ways.

After the brief encounter, several things went through my brain. The first was shock that someone was offering to help me. Usually I help others get things they can’t reach. Then, did I look like I was struggling with the water? Then insult, because I am woman hear me roar, right? Then, awww, that was super sweet, you don’t find many guys who offer to help. At least that hasn’t been my experience these past several years. I’m not saying those guys aren’t out there because clearly they absolutely are. I’m just saying, I haven’t typically intersected with them.

Next up, over analyzing the situation. Why didn’t I put the cart behind me? Once I grabbed the water I could just turn and put it in the cart instead of taking extra steps around the cart? Gosh, was I polite enough when he asked? I would hate to be the person that stopped him from helping others because I was too gruff. All my fellow people pleasers raise your hands in the air and say, heyyyy, hooooo.

How many times have you offered to help someone, got turned down and then vowed to never do that again because people are just, well, too people-y? Then you turn around and help because that’s just who you are, and you know how good it feels to help someone.

Now let me give you some background. A couple weeks ago I was having dinner with a friend. I promise you, this is not about man bashing. Some women actually like to have doors opened for them, and to be let off the elevator first, but my friend and I have noticed these type things have gone by the wayside. At least in our cases. I don’t know all the reasons why, but I have a few guesses. Again, not man bashing, just an observation.

Days after that conversation, I was going to the post office to mail my Christmas packages. I was carrying 2 boxes. An older gentleman, in front of me was carrying 1 box. His one box was bigger than my boxes. When he got to the doors, he opened the one side…for me. At the same time, another gentleman was exiting the building, and he held the other door open for me. Both doors, wide open for me to walk through, by 2 different men.

Back to the other day and the water incident. This is the part of the story where I loop God in. He’s always weaving things together. Do you look for Him in these things? Any way, God heard my conversation with my friend. God heard me previously say, multiple times, how sick and tired I am of going to the store. These weren’t prayers. I was actually grumbling. Yet, beyond the grumbling was a heart cry. God separated the grumbling from the heart cry, and answered.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m thankful I can go to the store and get all the things, but, it doesn’t mean I always like it. Those of you who always go to the store, I know, you get me. I’m not sure why I declined the man’s offer to help with the water, but it reminded me of how God will answer prayers and we either see it or we don’t. We either walk through those wide open doors, or we decline the help offered. You know, “I’ve got it”.

When God says His ways are not our ways, He’s serious. Remember, if we seek Him, we find Him. Do you know God? Because your relationship with Him will determine how you seek Him. I used to seek the judgmental, god must hate me god. Well, not so much seek as try not to catch his attention for fear of wrath. I mean who wants that kind of attention?

But, God cares about us. All through the Bible we find out just how much. He cares so much about this child who felt neglected about a simple door being opened for her, He sent not one, but 2 men to open doors for her.

It’s really rather simple, God’s in the details. He hasn’t forgotten you. Maybe though, you’ve forgotten who He is? Have you put Him in a box looking for Him to do your bidding? Or have you given Him the room to move using ALL the things He has at His disposal? Are you looking for Him in your day? Are you expectant for Him to move?

Truth is, He’s moving whether you see it or not. There’s always gonna be someone who wants to tell you how to have a relationship with God. That’s not gonna be me. All I’m going to do is share what He’s done for me. Because I don’t truly know you the way He knows you. I don’t see the deep desires of your heart. But, God does. And quite frankly, I’m still learning about my own relationship with God.

Your relationship with God is personal. He’s the One who knows what you need better than anyone. Not the stars, not the moon, not your horrorscope, (not a mistype), not even a psychic. I may have past experience with relying on those other things to help me navigate my life. They didn’t serve me well.

My point is simply this, God heard the cries of my heart and He answered. Why? Because He loves me. Guess what? He loves you too.

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Circling The Drain

by Trish Cordell

Circling The Drain

I feel a shift. Not a big or mighty shift. But a shift, nonetheless. It’s easy to see big, drastic changes. But it’s the small steps towards something that gets easily ignored, forgotten, or even dismissed. When in fact, those tiny steps forward should be celebrated.

Perhaps this shift is a new thought that interrupts, and inserts itself into the “same old” pattern of thinking. This new thought brings hope into a desolate situation. Except, the hopeful thought gets tossed to the side because the “nothing good ever happens” thoughts over power it.

I call those negative thought patterns, “circling the drain”. It’s like at any given moment we can be sucked down the pit of despair drain, but instead we ride the rim, hoping something will change, but dismissing any hopeful thought or movement toward change.

What happens next? The “what if’s” join the circle. Nasty little buggers. The “what if’s” allow the imagination to run wild with every possible “this will never work” scenario. They snatch hope away like the Grinch stealing all things Christmas, until there’s not even a piece of tinsel left.

Hopelessness then comes creeping in like the thief it is. This is the scariest of places. Hopelessness has a language and feeling all its own. It deceives and destroys. It robs you and doesn’t think twice or look back to see if you’re ok, because it could care less about you. It takes and keeps taking, until there’s nothing left to take.

I’ve been hopeless. I’ve been overrun by guilt, shame, self-loathing, and low self-esteem. I’ve looked at the reflection in the mirror and mentally abused myself. Which led me to physically abuse myself. Not in obvious ways…at first. Eventually, the lies of the enemy piled so high on top of me, I couldn’t or maybe I just didn’t want to see a way forward. I just wanted all the pain to stop.

Maybe you’ve been there. Maybe you’re there now. Words seem hollow. Simple actions are unbearably hard to achieve. Going through the motions is a chore. And if this is what life looks like, you no longer want any part of it. Whatever the reason(s), I’m so sorry.

The theme song to the tv show MAS*H is entitled “Suicide Is Painless”. I beg to differ. It’s anything but painless. It’s gut wrenching. It’s hope deferred. It’s dark, twisty, and hell bent on destruction. Suicide is not a stigma, it’s not selfish, and it’s nothing new. It has no rhyme or reason and anyone can be its victim. Race, religion, status, popularity, rich, or poor doesn’t matter. Suicide isn’t glamorous and it won’t “show them,” a thing.

I can’t make any promises, but I can say, from my own experience, that suicide is not the only option. There’s still ”life” to be had. There’s still more. But you have to decide your life has meaning and purpose. You have to decide to step away from the rim of the drain. You have to know, deep down, below the darkness, there’s still a light shining. Even if it’s a flicker, it’s still there.

You have to fight for you because yes, you are worth it. Let me repeat that..YOU are worth it!

Tomorrow isn’t promised to any of us. Seasons of life come and go. This moment in time is not your entire story. It’s just, right now. And right now, is all any of us have. In the blink of an eye, shift happens and life begins beyond this moment. Because time nor the world, my friend, stops for no one.

I guess what I want to say is, there’s always hope. You may have to dig to find it, but it’s there. Name one thing you can be grateful for and focus on that until you can think of the next thing, and then the next. There’s always, always something to be thankful for, as cliche as that sounds. If you weren’t supposed to be here, you wouldn’t be reading this.

And if no one has told you lately that you matter, please hear my heart when I tell you, YOU matter. And what I mean by that is, the world would not be a better place without you, nor would those left behind be better without you.

You are an intricately made, wonderfully complex, deeply loved person of effect. You, my friend, are a world changer. It all begins with a ripple. Remember always, greater is He that is in you, than he who is in the world.

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Silly Love Songs

by Trish Cordell

The past few days, the song “Silly Love Songs” by Paul McCartney & Wings, has been running around in my head. Which is odd because I don’t really like his music. Yet, here we are. Let’s take a look at some of the lyrics:

“You’d think that people would have had enough of silly love songs
But I look around me and I see it isn’t so, oh no,
Some people want to fill the world
With silly love songs
And what’s wrong with that?”

The song was written by Paul and his wife Linda. It’s said it was written in retaliation to music critics who accused Paul of writing, well, “silly love songs.”

It would seem songs, and movies about love are always in high demand. Who doesn’t love a happy ending? This time of year we’re flooded with cheesy love stories. Despite knowing the overplayed plot of boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy wins girl back, we still tune in. We cry, we laugh, we get all sentimental and we long for the unrealistic tv version of love. Simple, silly, cheesy, love.

However, if you’ve ever been in a relationship, you know they take work. There’s no play by play book that covers every human interaction. For sure there’s similar experiences but no relationship is comparatively exact to another. We know there are highs and lows. We know things get blown out of proportion and feelings get hurt. We know they end. Sometimes we’re so devastated by the end of a relationship, it takes years to fully recover.

Even so, we long for that “silly” love connection despite knowing how awful it can make us feel. Why? Because we all love the idea of love. Can I let you in on a little secret? Love is anything but silly. Are there silly moments? Of course. But what happens when we bump up against the truly hard stuff? Do we tuck tail and run or do we press in and persevere? Allow me to share a story with you.

The beginning of a love story begins with a birth. I mean, we’re all were born at some point, right? In this particular story, this birth, no matter how long ago it happened, the purpose is the same. It never changes. It’s all about love. Not love, the sqishy, ooey, gooey, feeling; love, the action.

Once upon a time, thousands of years ago, a baby was born in the city of Bethlehem. But, not just any baby. No, this baby had a specific plan and purpose on his life. A purpose so big, only he could fulfill it. This baby, was sent specifically for you.

Let me show you.

“For God loved the world so much that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not die but have eternal life.” ~ John 3:16 (GNT)

Do you see that word “everyone”? That means, you. Everyone does not exclude you, it includes you. God didn’t say, “except that one,” no, He said “everyone.” So can we now agree that God sent His Son for you?

Ok, let’s keep moving forward. The baby born in the city of Bethlehem was named Jesus. Maybe you’ve heard of Him? His mission, to save the world. Read that again. To save the world. Cue the theme from “Mission Impossible”. Who’s in this world? You are. It’s no accident you’re here, despite what you may have been told or how you may feel.

Let me show you.

“You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit them together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! It is amazing to think about. Your workmanship is marvelous—and how well I know it. You were there while I was being formed in utter seclusion! You saw me before I was born and scheduled each day of my life before I began to breathe. Every day was recorded in your book!” ~ Psalm 139:13-16 (TLB)

Can we now agree, you’re no accident? Not only are you not an accident, you’re marvelous because you’re His workmanship. Not only are you marvelous, you’re wonderfully complex. All those things about you, you think are too much, not enough, or over the top, are part of your complex make-up. You are everything He thought of and put into action. I know, crazy, right?

As I mentioned earlier, the mission of Jesus was to save the world. Every single encounter we read about in the Bible is significant and completed with great purpose. As Jesus grew into the man He was purposed to be here on earth, He didn’t bypass the broken or the sick, or the downtrodden or the sinners. No, He went in search of them. Why? The answer is simple, yet so complex. Love. Not silly love. Agape love.

A grape ape what? No, no. Let’s try it again. Agape love. It’s a Greek word. This love is not a feeling. This love is all about action. It’s the highest form of love. It’s sacrificial and it puts others first.

Let me show you.

“If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love. Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.” ~ 1 Corinthians 13:3-7 (The MSG)

So, you see, you can write, listen, and sing about silly love songs. You can watch all the silly love movies, but you won’t be filled. There will still be a longing for “something” more. I know, because I bought into the lie that silly worldly, selfish love would make me whole. But, it never did.

It wasn’t until I understood that while I was still neck deep in my pit, covered in sin, that the Savior of the world, chose to sacrifice His life for mine, because of His great love. And friends, there’s nothing silly about His love for you. He’s very serious about His relationship with you. But, that’s something you’ll have to experience for yourself. Because He’s not a stand-offish God, He’s personal.

And it’s not Santa Claus, who sees you when you’re sleeping, or knows when you’re awake. Nope, it’s God. But don’t take my word for it.

Let me show you.

“You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.” ~ Psalm 139:1-12 (NIV)

Nothing silly about that my friends! God sees you. He hears you. And most assuredly, He loves you. He’s not forgotten you, nor has He abandoned you. He is always, always, with you. Your mission…believe it or not. He leaves that choice in your hands. He will never force His love on you. Because His love is a gift, freely given to everyone. And yes, that still includes, YOU!

May God bless you and keep you, make His face shine upon you, and give you peace!

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Stink, Stank, Skunked

by Trish Cordell

A couple days ago I shared the following story on Facebook wall. At the time, I wasn’t sure why this happened. As I was contemplating the scenario, it dawned on me that before I got out of bed, I prayed for God to help me be creative. Hence the following story. I hope, if nothing else, it makes you laugh. It definitely helped me be creative. And might I just add, well played God, well played.

If you were anywhere near the vicinity of my home around 6:15ish am, I hope you enjoyed the show.

I let Moose out this morning like I always do. I threw his toy after he ran out as he waited in “attack” mode for me to toss it so he could grab it up and then run over to the corner of the house to see if there was anything bark worthy that way.

As I sat down to enjoy my morning devotionals and coffee I heard him growl. Not his typical growl. I thought…well maybe that squirrel finally decided to charge him. I got up out of my chair and opened the door and no, there was no squirrel.

The scene playing out before my eyes was straight out of a cartoon. There was Moose being chased round and round by a demonic skunk. Sweet baby Jesus! I in no way handled this well. I started slapping my hand repeatedly on the glass window of the screen door while yelling at the top of my lungs trying to scare the skunk off. This is apparently not the tactic you want to use. It did nothing but make the two of them go round and round faster. This skunk was no where near deterred by my crazy lady behavior. Pretty weird since I was freaked out by my own behavior. But, this is a skunk we’re talking about, people!!

The skunk, to my nose knowledge had yet to spray. That doesn’t mean it didn’t. As Moose would circle around to the door, I would open the screen door for him to run in. Praying to God the skunk wouldn’t follow him in. Moose was pretty freaked out, so it took him a couple times round to see the door being opened for him.

Moose doesn’t usually have something chase after him. This was a new unwelcome experience for him. He typically does all the scaring off with his “vicious” bark, but this skunk was all like…I don’t think so, dude. Lemme show you what I got!

Finally, about the fiftieth time aroundMoose saw the opened door, and ran through it. Thank the Lord, Moose didn’t get directly sprayed, but the smell is in my house just the same. Awesome.

The demonic skunk stuck around the front porch until the sun started coming out and then it no doubt scampered back to its den. Wherever that is. I’m guessing Hell. I know skunks have their purpose in the world, but Lord, just no!!

Moose is fine after his skunk encounter. He’s resting peacefully in my lap. Maybe he learned a lesson today, maybe he didn’t. Only time will tell.

What did I learn? I’m still figuring that out. Meanwhile my house is filled with aromas of stink, stank, skunk.

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Blessed to be Broken

God's not finished with me yet!

I’ve Got It

Circling The Drain

Silly Love Songs

Stink, Stank, Skunked

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